what time is it?

Today walking around downtown at lunchtime I saw a man who looked like an old sailor rolling up to the library on roller blades while another dude kind of stared at him, some young clean people (Mormons?) giving away CD’s (DVD’s?) about the Lord, a man who looked like Inpector Clousseau clutching a briefcase, etc. etc. This place is often more interesting than Oakland during the day, surprisingly.

Today’s paper has my pieces about Midnite Snake and Z’EV; pick one up, I’ll post the online versions tomorrow once they’re LIVE. Midnite Snake is the cover and golly gee is the picture insane. Unfortunately, it’s eclipsed by the back cover AA ad, which, of course, is an ass and says — not kidding here — “Pantytime™.”

Okay, I guess I’m a little jealous of Dov for getting that trademarked before me.

JUST A LITTLE.

shining flying purple wolfhound

Busy week. Moving, cleaning, busy at work because of moved-up deadlines.

Last night I cleaned out my bookbag and in the process found:

- A pinball.
- Like 10 pens.
- My flash drive (I thought I had lost it months ago and was about to buy another soon).
- A couple (unopened/unused) condoms, one of which was expired (draw your own conclusions).
- Several 1″ pins I thought were goners.
- A (mechanical) nut on a little chain, origin unknown.
- A little Heinz ketchup bottle painted mostly blue, which I found on the shelves in the Afro-American collection many months ago.

Right now I’m thinking about how The Yes Album is really great.

ooh guess what.

I’m in the middle of moving. I moved like half of my stuff today, and the rest will go within the week. Expect me happily settled in Regent Square by Memorial Day. Maybe I’ll post PIXX if I get around to taking them. If I know you, expect an updated contact info email message as soon as I get a new phone number (going cellular in 2007). Also I’m gonna be attempting to go without home internet access, while at the same time continuing work on mounting a brand new internet offensive that will hopefully knock your socks off (after they’ve geeked it into a bed).

my sock what?!

I got a spam message this morning that consisted entirely of this image:

quick update

So today you can access my article from yesterday’s paper about a show that was last night. You can’t go to the show anymore, but maybe you’re in a different city and can still see The Old Haunts, or maybe you just want to read something mediocre that I wrote, and count the ratio of “Olympias” to “words that aren’t Olympia.” If so, click here. If not, you have my permission to, like, go elsewhere in your RSS reader.

for the “wtf” files.

Just got this press release:

BEN FOLDS PLANS FANTASY ROCK & ROLL VACATION

BEN FOLDS EXPERIENCE CRUISE TAKES FANS, ARTISTS & COMEDIANS FROM MIAMI TO JAMAICA IN FEBRUARY 2008

ATLANTA, GA - A consistently busy artist in need of a vacation, power pop pioneer Ben Folds teams up with Sixthman, the leader in the entertainment cruise industry, to plan a holiday with several of his favorite other artists, entertainers and most devoted fans.  The Ben Folds Experience cruise sails from the Port of Miami on February 21, 2008, on the Carnival Imagination, stops in Ocho Rios, Jamaica and returns to Miami on February 25, 2008. Ben Folds Experience goes on sale to the public on June 13, 2007.

“I wanted to get a lot of talented musical artists together with possibly a few comedians and have some kind of magical experience,” says Folds.  In a note to his fans about his plans for an upcoming musical vacation, he wrote, “The idea of painting a large bus psychedelic purple, not taking baths for a week and driving around the country jamming out on one chord about the war got shot down quickly.”

Other acts performing on the Ben Folds Experience cruise will be announced in the coming weeks. Information will be updated on www.benfoldsexperience.com as it is available.

Then it goes on to discuss — I’m not kidding — Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Simple Man Cruise and the Barenaked Ladies’ Ships ‘n Dip III cruise. I’ll spare you that part.

As you likely know, Ben Folds Five is one of my greatest and guiltiest pleasures. It pains me to see the poor man having jumped the shark so, but at the same time, I really want to go on this absolutely ridiculous cruise.

time for a music post.

Okay, so. Tonight, went to see the Brain Handle sendoff tour. Brain Handle have always written great songs, and they’ve grown into their songs as far as playing tight is concerned. Ovens is a fantastic, fun-to-watch drummer, which is great (having started playing drums late, I love watching drummers develop). If you’re in another town, check them out on their tour, which, as of a couple weeks ago, looks something like:

May 15th (T): Pittsburgh tour kickoff
May 16th (W): Cincinnati @ Robbie’s Parent’s House, 4132 Floral Ave, Norwood, OH w/ Dead Sea and Paralyzer
May 17th (Th): St. Louis @ Skullfuckeree, 3520 Wyoming, St. Louis w/ Cardiac Arrest
May 18th (F): off/driving
May 19th (S): Chaos in Tejas Fest
May 20th (Su): San Antonio @ some joint with American Cheeseburger
May 21st (M): Las Cruces – no show…eating, shitting, maybe swimming
May 22nd (T): Arizona - The One Place (?) not confirmed - maybe getting on a hawdcore show there
May 23rd (W): San Diego/Other - NOTHING AS OF YET
May 24th (Th): LA/OC @ Mexican Cultural Center w/ The Cannibals + others
May 25th (F): LA/Silver Lake @ some joint with La Fraction
May 26th (S): Oakland @ Hazmat
May 27th (Su): SF @ Thrillhouse Records
May 28th (M): Portland @ some joint with Hellshock, La Fraction and others
May 29th (T): Olympia @ Witch House
May 30th (W): Seattle @ Atlas Clothing w/ Sex Vid and Black Breath
May 31st (Th): Montana - NOTHING AS OF YET
June 1st (F): Rapid City @ TREA Bingo Hall! with KEPF
June 2nd (S): Minneapolis – 2 FUCKING SHOWS - early at the Alamo/late at Memory Lanes
June 3rd (Su): Milwaukee @ some joint/basement
June 4th (M): Chicago @ Albion (most likely)
June 5th (T): Cleveland @ Now That’s Class
June 6th (W): Albany/Western Mass - NOTHING FUCKING CONFIRMED
June 7th (Th): Portland, ME @ Sahara Club
June 8th (F): Providence @ AS220 w/ some fucking cool bands
June 9th (S): Boston @ 50 Ashford Street, Allston w/ Conversions, Scapegoat, Heathen Shame and Girl Trouble
June 10th (Su): New York City @ 538 Johnson w/ LOSER LIFE, Crime Desire and Easter Kids
June 11th (M): Philly @ some fucking place
June 12th (T): Raleigh @ flint house
June 13th (W): Athens @ a house
June 14th (Th): Chattanooga @ a house
June 15th (F): Nashville @ at house
June 16th (S): Richmond @ No Way Records world fucking headquarters

Also buy their LP.

Midnite Snake also ruled hard and also have a new album out. I’ll have an article about them in next week’s paper. I’ll have an article in tomorrow’s paper about The Old Haunts (on KRS, now featuring Tobi Vail on drums) but by the time it’s online the show will be over because it’s tomorrow. (Remember how I said last week sucked? This should’ve run last week but it didn’t occur to me until it occurred to my editor and that was much too late.) They’re pretty good, so go if you like rock bands. I should be there, but no guarantees; I have a lot of packing to do, not to mention sleeping.

I think I’ll write up a post about Downtown Lunch one of these days soon. I’m familiarizing myself with my options as I go along.

That’s all for now. Seeya.

following directions

Two things that made me laugh today:

This morning, going through a pile of stuff and packing what I want and throwing away the rest, I came upon some homeopathic allergy pills that I got last year in Philly that didn’t help me. Reading the package, I realized what was likely the reason it wasn’t working: under “other directions,” it says “For best results, take with a clean mouth.”

Then, this afternoon, I signed up for a cellular account with Sprint PCS and found myself faced with this page:

Take a look. The terms and conditions? They’re hanging out in that frame there that’s about one inch square. You have to scroll through the entire thing, reading two words at a time. AND you have to scroll side-to-side to read some of the words.

okay.

So a week of hell at work is over. Tomorrow I give the momz her Mother’s Day gift. I have a new place to live, in Regent Square. I’ve got the keys, will be moving over the next couple weeks. I have a new exciting blog project that’s finally rolling in a major way. I rode my bike a lot tonight. The reading last night went well. Tomorrow night is the Double D release show. Sunday night I hang out with the Midnite Snake so I can write about them. I have a copy of the new issue of Tennis magazine that I intend to devour shortly. I just ate pierogies.  Good night.

Time for an inventory.

• Finished Our Gang, by Philip Roth. It was a funny speculative satire about the Nixon administration, written in 1971 (so, in the heat of the administration, but before Watergate). It’s written like a play; I suspect it would be funnier if performed, but I still enjoyed it. Next up: Gay Talese’s Fame & Obscurity, since I barely read it when we read it in school.

• Thursday is the reading I’m part of; I’m disastrously not ready. But whatever. I’m first, so maybe no one will have arrived yet. Also, there’s not much that preparation can do to help me. That all having been said, please come!
• Friday night is the Kinks cover show at the Pub and also the big Girl Talk shindig at Mr. Small’s. I might go to the latter to catch Midnite Snake since I’m working on an article about them.
• Saturday night is the Double D release at MoFo, plus Michael Johnsen and Centipede. Then, at the Pub, RTX and the Dirty Faces. The new RTX is something. I’m not sure if it’s something good or something bad. I might go to that show if I’m drunk or feel like getting that way. Otherwise I’ll probably stay away.