sic semper tyrannis

Yesterday brought the yearly Parade magazine WORLD’S WORST DICTATORS issue.

First of all, YES, I’m acutely aware that Parade magazine is essentially a joke and I shouldn’t expect much out of it. But even with that understanding: WHAT? How does a rag so caught up in middle-Americanism and celebrity sycophancy think to, once a year, enumerate and quantify which world dictators are the worst? My working theory is that someone who had previously worked at Mad got a job at Parade and needed an idea quick, and therefore imported some ideas that s/he had come up with for Mad (this explains the existence of Marilyn vos Savant as well).

Ultimately, Parade deserves all the stupid “YOU FORGOT GEORGE BUSH YOU MORANS” comments its getting on its website. Because, hey, when you decide that it makes sense to think you can pass judgment on something as sensitive and important as tyrannical rule, you should expect some ridiculous arguments to ensue. (For example, what’s the deciding factor that determines that Putin can be classed alongside Qaddafi and Hu Jintao but George Bush can’t? And WHO TRUSTS PEOPLE LIKE JAMES BRADY AND LYRIC WALLWORK WINIK TO MAKE THAT CALL?)

I think a proper next step, given the apparent success of the topic, would be a joint project with Fox, the end result being a reality show competition (”The World’s Next Top Despot”?) pitting , say, King Abdullah against Kim Jong-Il to determine once and for all, in a quantitative fashion, just WHO is the most evil of them all. The Politically Engineered Famine Challenge is not one I want to be in front of the TV for.