finals fantasy

Here in the catacombs of the university library, it is finals week, and it is hard to get around. You see, in the summer, when the little ones are back home and only the diehards are getting a jump on their gen ed requirements, it’s quite normal to saddle up to the elevators and have one waiting for you. No fuss, no muss. Then as the fall semester progresses, more and more young bodies appear here, and elevators become increasingly scarce. Computers are in demand, tables and chair occupied. Then comes the deluge.

Today, it’s nearly impossible to get where you’re going in this building with a book truck. In addition to the seemingly increased study table quotient, more and more youngsters have things — electronic things, laptop computers, cellular phones, portable digital music devices — plugged into the wall outlets, the cords leading to their spots at various desks and carrels. One must be careful not to molest these! (Though on at least one occasion I have, I’ll admit, tripped over a cell phone wire and knocked the damn thing to the floor, then stood over it, holding my fists in the air and doing a victory dance (okay that last part is an exaggeration).)

The first floor is simply a mess — bodies all strewn about the place, slightly-askew white baseball caps, pajama pants, 3-D models of molecules. I’ll tell you what I see when I round the corner and face the main studying area: writhing masses of animals, not unlike a basement full of vermin, squirming over one another. I carefully plot my footsteps, attempting to avoid squishing, but I inevitably end up stepping on someone.

Or, alternatively, it’s like a bad thriller: I see all of the undergrads, I glance down at my mission (find this book for this faculty member or face dire consequences). I know this building well; I dart back through the B section (philosophy) in order to take the back way to BD (theory — well, “Speculative philosophy”). The back way is blocked; the kids have found it, too. They’re watching from the Latin American Reading Room, they’re peering down from the desks on the overlooking second floor.

By the way, nasty little studyers: keep an eye on your belongings. There have been a great many thefts in this building lately because clever predators know that fools like you leave your jackets/cell phones/wads of cash/cocaine sitting out while you go to the printer/bathroom/coffeeshop/house of hot babe/dude you just met while reading about applied multivariate statistics. And no, it’s not good enough to do like one of you did the other day and look at me when you’re walking away from your desk full of belongings and say, “Hey, don’t steal my stuff, okay?”

herbie doesn’t like to make toys!

This weekend, some things happened.

I passed up stopping at the liquor store on Centre across from Neville because there was a guy begging for change in front of it and I can’t buy alcohol in front of a begging person because of the guilt factor. So I ended up walking all the way to the NEW WINE AND SPIRITS SUPER STORE, basically a supermarket of alcohol, in the new shopping plaza by Whole Foods. It was an impressive display. The clerk, a managerial-looking man, asked for my ZIP code and I thought I gave it easily, but he seemed to think I was resistant, because he explained that the state was taking a survey, and I wouldn’t get junk mail or anything. I thanked him and explained that if the state sent me junk mail that was addressed simply to my name and ZIP code, it would have a hard time finding me anyway. He did not laugh.

I drank alone while watching Christmas specials. Yes, egg nog. No, I’m not joking.

I saw Centipede and Parts & Labor at Gooski’s. Centipede was excellent as always. Parts & Labor are odd — sort of like a toned-down Lightning Bolt thing, with very pop-punk style vocals over that. Nothing BAD, just kind of unusual, and maybe not something that I’d listen to at home.

I went to a potluck and listened to a crazy dude talk about all the authors he’s read and about the key to understanding Tolstoy or some such nonsense.

I further prepared myself for the reading on Thursday.

I saw a front door on Pearl Street that was wrapped up like a gift, bow and all, and had a handwritten noted taped to it saying: “Open me first!” And I laughed. Each of the several times I passed it.

I didn’t do any Christmas shopping, or making.

I’m about to go to sleep.

here is a flyer i made

For the show/reading coming up:

Do come — I’ll read you sweet verse about my messed-up outlook.

Twas not a fit night out for man nor beast this evening — Jo and I walked home after I waited for a bus for a good twenty minutes. Good thing, since according to rumor, the next 54C to come was at 6:00, and that one was full, and the next one wasnt for another two hours at least. I don’t know where my gloves are, and I think I got low-grade frostbite walking home. But I got back faster than I would have if I had been driving, eh?

Also, the quote of the night came from the mouth of a man slipping over to his car with his significant other close to my house at the height of the icy traffic mess: “We’re gonna fuckin’ die going to Wal-Mart!” 

in which i tie up loose ends

I bought Christmas cards today. Know what that means? That’s right — I’m officially an old person. There were only 12 in the package, though, and they were kinda pricey, so you’ll probably only end up with one if you’re family or a friend who I don’t see much who I know is into Christmas (or some approximation thereof). I might temper their message by signing them “Agnostically yours” or something.

Right now, for one reason or another, this “Dog Campaign for Real Beauty” spoof ad is making me laugh a lot. The original is here — watch it first if you haven’t seen it before. This campaign is rich with stuff to analyze — I think it’s what I’ll write my term paper about. Speaking of which, the semester is almost up, and next semester I’ll be doing the following:

• Visual Literacy, a lit department class that seems promising and is mostly online. This is kinda my jam, but I think that it won’t be overly easy and boring for me. I’ll keep you up to date.
• Independent study: my goal is to read and write on the topic of blogging in scholarship, with particular attention to the political economy of scholarly publishing. If you know of any reading that might be pertinent that you’re not sure I’ve read, do send it along as a suggestion. I appreciate it.

There are things coming up that interfere with this being finals week looming: Steelers tomorrow evening (I can watch and do homework at the same time, though, promise), holiday specials and Centipede/Parts & Labor at Gooski’s Friday night, The Ex at Garfield Artworks Saturday night. Why does this stuff not happen during the weeks when I don’t give a fig about schoolwork? Alas. I’ll make it all work. Don’t fret, reader.

disappointment.

As Brian points out, “The Year Without A Santa Claus” on NBC next week is in fact a new live-action version. Why do people do things like this? Why do people want to ruin Christmas? Why does NBC think people who have outlived their use even to “Saturday Night Live” will be good in a remake of a near-perfect animated Christmas special?

Also, on the subject of disappointing television decisions, “This American Life” is going to be a TV show on Showtime? Not sure about that one.  I’m not counting on this ending well, though I’ve been wrong before. Good luck, folks.

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So, as you may have intuited, lately I haven’t had the time to write lots of significant bloggage, but that’s a good thing. I mean, okay, some of the problem is that I’ve slept a whole lot, but also I’ve been doing some things. I’m getting together a book of sorts in time for the upcoming show that I’m reading at at ModernFormations. I’m wrapping up classes. I’m dealing with an apparent cold that has lasted a couple months. I watched (most of) the Brothers Quay Collection this weekend — immensely creepy but at the same time kind of wonderful. Think: tiny screws that run around and tunnel in the ground like little rodents. Little doll guys with lidless heads. Crazy little broom guy who fights with insects. Go for it.

More later.